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Monday, October 22nd, 2001
10:51 am - mmwwaahahaha
decided for sheer comedy value i'd write in this sad little journal thing again. sat ' brother's computer in oxford, waiting for beffy to get ready so we can hurry up and go look at the lovely student types.
went to london yesterday. got lovely retro tee from portobello rd.
saw stuart from big brother last night. quite surreal.
ne way, started to remember why i stopped writing on this... cant think of ne thing decent to say!
bye 4 now.

current mood: giggly

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Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
11:15 am
Geez, i haven't written in here in a while. i guess i've been too busy revising ;)
last night was fairly cool. unfortunately little ian had a poorly throat so we couldn't see the band play, but it was good just going out and having a laugh with Laura, Ciaran, Claire and some fairly strange guys.
Yesterday was a funny day overall, actually. I walked home from the doctors and i must have seen about 20 people i know. It was so cool, what should have been a 15 minute walk turned into about 2 hours. Its nice when that happens, when you can catch up with people you haven't seen in ages. Makes me :)
'cept something is really nagging at my nerves. I think its maybe what Chris.H was telling me yesterday 'bout Al et all, but maybe not. I just think its funny how some people are very critical of other people when really they should just look in the mirror. Reminds me of a biblical passage thing (?!?!) - "before you take the speck of wood out of someone else's eye, take the log out of your own". quite appropriate i think. I'm not exactly saying i'm the goddess of virtue on this front, just that maybe its time some people, including myself, should look at themselves before they judge other poeple.
oh well, rant over, its time to go learn some french. yey, lucky me.

current mood: cranky

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Wednesday, June 6th, 2001
8:23 am - oh no
so... french in half an hour, and what am i doing? writing on my journal, bien sur.
oh well, i suppose its better than stressing. actually thats a fairly good point. what is the point is stressing over something we just have to do? unless you're stupid and u don't wanna turn up, the exam has to be done, so the best thing to do is just grin, bear it and get on with it.
but me and ruthie had a fairly intelligent (?!?) idea last night. we should make a pact not to talk about the maths exam when its finished. coz if someone says they got one answer and everybody else got another one, then they're gonna feel like shit. so are we agreed? don't talk about specific answers when they're done. its not gonna make things easier by talking.
oh well, i'd better go find ham and do this exam. at the end of the day, in the greater scheme of things, these exams are not the most important thing. trying your best, and not regretting the past, that's what's important.

current mood: hopeful

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Monday, June 4th, 2001
11:08 am - yey, all gone
hoorah, exams all over now! geography's over, now we've got english. which is just great. coz our teacher is a worthless pile of shite. that'd be from me and emma, though i can't speak for alison and ham, who are also here.
apparently their teacher is equally crap.
great, we're all screwed.
grrrrrr (from emma)

YAY! is spelt like this faye!
HAHAHAHA u got it wrong

and that was a yay coz geography is over.
but then there is a grrrrr!!!! because english lit is next

oh and for all those worried people out there i found my anthology so u can stop running around looking for it now! twas in a big pile of mess on my desk. that calls for another YAY!!!!

THANKYOU HAm, i can sleep again.

emm.. better go revise. try and make up for the last two years in which i haven't actually learnt anything in the goddamn lessons!

oh, and hope mat didn't collapse due to coronary heart failure having had to include case studies in the exam! and due to massive amounts of stress me losing my anthology must of caused him :p

current mood: cold

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Wednesday, May 23rd, 2001
10:55 am - Oh yey, an exam
first gcse in like, an hour, and i'm just a leedle bit scared. oh well, not much I can do about it. I could run away... no, that's a bad idea.
nice 2c every1 happy again. including myself. but for now, i'd better go revise, so good luck every1, not that you'll need it.

current mood: blank

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Friday, May 18th, 2001
10:56 am - Yey for muck up day
Today is good, i hope it goes slowly. At the minute i'm skiving it, but Mrs Shrubsall sounds a little irate so i'll probably have to go any minute now.
We completely wrecked the locker room, and just about the whole school smells of stink bombs - but hell its only one day, and if we can't have fun today, then when can we?
yey, pip's off 2 collect cake now, plus i've eaten a whole load of other crap today, so i reackon by the end of the day i'll have put on a couple of stone! Plus wearing these big boots doesn't help. Suddenly realised how heavy they were when i had to run for the train this morning. Oh well, i guess the I needed the exercise to compensate for everything i'm gonna eat today!

current mood: cheerful

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Thursday, May 17th, 2001
12:48 pm - Happy days...
Yet another sunny day in newcastle. Every one is thinking of stuff to do 2moro for muck up day. Some of it sounds cool, but i can tell that sum1 is going to get into shit. I wish the staff would lay off for a day. i mean its for one day, and i mean, how much damage can teenage girls do?... ok, i guess i can sorta see where they're coming from!
But really, i don't feel like its the end of an era. none of my friends are leaving. To me i just feel like i'm gonna break up for summer in come back in september, same as i do every year. For me the end of the era was the end of junior skool, something which loads of my friends never really experienced. I suppose that it'll feel like the end of an era at the end of sisth form, when every1 goes their own ways. That'll be the real friendship test, who stays friends and who just forgets about it and moves on...

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, May 16th, 2001
8:22 am - Really, today I will try
Every1 seems 2b pissed off about something at the minute, so i've figured that so long as i quit begging for sympathy, stuffs gonna get better soon.
I really wish that these exams would hurry up coz this revision stuff is really boring. Its like pip said, its not oo bad the first time, but going over it again is enough to put some people into a coma!
Laura is with me. I can hear her frantic typing. its quite funny actually, coz it sounds like i do when i'm just bashing random keys.
Anyway, this is rambling on so i'd better go to french.
Hope y'alls cheer up, and sorry for being mopey.

current mood: good

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Tuesday, May 15th, 2001
12:32 pm - AAaarrgh!
Finally everyone seems to be taking these exams seriously. Finally it doesn't seem like i'm the only one who's working. Before i might have looked forward to this, but in actual fact, everybody getting stressed out is making me even more stressed out.
I guess what i've gotta keep in mind is the big fat holiday i've got at the end of all this. yey, the sun, the surf and the s..
I comprised a list of things i'm pissed off with at the moment, to try and release some tension, but it hasn't worked so far. I tried talking to people, but in doing so only proved to myself that I was right in thinking nobody else gives a fuck, not even my friends. Not that i expect them to drop everything to help me, and i know that they won't appreciate me whinging all the time. I think i'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill with just about all of my problems. They have their own to deal with. I shouldn't bother them so much i guess.
Gr. I'm now pissed off @ myself for acting all depressed. No, depressed is the wrong word. Sadness and depression are two very different things that often get confused. I'm just sad.
But i'll get over it. In fact, I bet even in an hour or so my mood could have changed entirely. Thats just how i am. Its a woman's porogative (spelt wrong).

current mood: lonely

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Monday, May 14th, 2001
12:34 pm - Nearly over...
Wow, I can't believe that in a couple of days time i'll have finished school. Obviously it doesn't bother me as much as some people coz i'm staying here for sixth form, but its still quite weird.
Looking forward to muck up day on friday. Though i cant quite decide between the fishnets or the stockings... its a tough one!
Who's stupid idea was it to have exams in the summer? Whoever it was must be a sadist coz it's really annoying being locked in a room trying to study when i know for a fact its hot and sunny outside. Plus revising in the garden is a no no. Apart from the fact that my evil dictator parents would have kittens, as a tried and tested theory it just doesn't work. Still, i can look forward to the holidays...

current mood: bored

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Friday, May 11th, 2001
8:29 am - I'm back
After much deliberation over whether I can be bothered to read the abusive comments i get on this diary, I've decided to continue writing coz i'm writing for me and not other people.
So anyways... this party 2nite should be ok. 'cept its gonna be full of people that i dont really know and, quite frankly scare me! Plus the music sounds a little weird. Underground hip hop? Forgive me for sounding so ignorant, but what the f**k? I dont really have much music knowledge, so could some one please explain the difference between hip hop, underground hip hop and trip hop?
That would bhe great, thanx.

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Thursday, May 3rd, 2001
12:35 pm - wow, my first entry
Sorry and all that for my first entry I can't be all chirpy. Just at the moment I feel a bit down. Its like I'm always looking in at what other people are doing and usually not being a part of it. Not such a bad thing, you may think, but its weird coz i've never had a reason to feel like this before. I don't know. Maybe I'm not missing out on what people are doing. Maybe they dont have some big social life that i'm unaware of. Or maybe its that they think my social life is too busy for them to fit into. If that the case then they're wrong.
But i suppose i should be happy. I mean, I know in myself that what I do is worthwhile, and i am usually happy. And i seem to be one of the only people at the minute who are more than content with their love life. So yeah, I guess I am lucky. I'll stop whinging now.

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, March 30th, 2001
8:43 pm - yey. escape from prison!
finally after a week of seripous study i get to go out. it should be fun, just me, ham and ruthie. plus i think a break is not only welcome but deserved!
revision's getting to the good bit now, where what i'm reading is stuff i already know, and i'm not learning anything new!
i just can't wait 'till the holidays1 finally a chance to spend time doing pretty much what i want to do. que music gigs, drinking and a lot of time spent out of the house and in the sun.
actually starting to think of stuff to do when we get the results back. yep, thinking that far forward already, but the way i see it is that we all need stuff to look forward to just to get thru these exams. i assume it'll involve fun and frolicking...

current mood: accomplished

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Thursday, March 29th, 2001
9:40 pm - all better now
Hoorah1 happy again.
sorry yalls 4 being a little paranoid. I'm v.lucky to have friends like you.(aahh).
oh, and laura, sorry for stealing the covers.
thanx pip for a lovely weekend.
yey, its all sunny now. i think i'll revise outside... or maybe just go out side and sunbath... much better idea methinx.

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